IMG_1940

Looking at You, Jimmy Choo

As I stood, mesmerized, in front of the wall display of Jimmy Choo designer shoes, time stood still.  When I finally looked around, Richard had a bewildered look on his face.  He had a shoe in his hand with the price tag dangling from it, so I’m guessing he was a victim of “sticker shock” and may have feared that I had been caught in the siren call of lavish footwear.  Jimmy Choo shoes are pricey.  

The alluring display was at the local “Fancy Mall” and although I was taking a rare walk through a store, the shiny and colorful high heels caught my eye and stopped me.  There was a time when I was well acquainted with those sorts of shoes, and I had even developed a near athletic level of proficiency such that I could run in high heels through gravel, no prob. It was the equivalent, in my day, of a gold medal winning triple lutz in figure skating.  Yes, I had shoe skills.  I’m sure you have unique abilities too.

At one time I knew the world of labels like Chanel (two C’s), Louboutin (red soles), Vuitton (LV), and so on.  It was a place that I inhabited for a relatively brief time in my life, but having come out of a strictly K-Mart blue light special and Murphy’s bargain basement context, I found that my ticket to an upscale atmosphere was somehow healing, like a super weird and expensive band-aid. 

I worked and I explored various and ridiculous things in order to feel as though I was permitted to be more than where I had come from.  I have some great memories along with a few regrets because flashy products and events can be distracting. I can’t go back now but I learned from it all.

When the kids were young I insisted on taking them, at least once, to the Opera, a ballet, a Broadway show, a dress up special event, a nice restaurant.  It wasn’t because I particularly wanted them to love any of it, but I wanted them to know that they could get through the doors to those elegant venues, and they belonged wherever they wanted to be.  They belonged.

So now, let me be clear about what I want to say to you: any and every good thing is for you.  You are permitted and worthy of the good things in life, enjoyment, meaningful missions, love and respect…every good thing.  If you, (like many of us) grew up questioning whether or not “people like us” could enjoy culture, education, true love, or an abundant and blessed life, then let me give you the holy truth: you are worth it, absolutely, no doubt.  If you believe and accept this, it will save you a whole lot of time and heartache, along with missteps and detours in life.  

Back at the mall, I didn’t even try on the Jimmy Choos, or the Valentinos, or the Manolo Blahniks, because they don’t appeal to me at this point; although I still like a lovely shoe and I have enough.  (I think Richard was relieved although he is valiant enough to always tell me I can get what I want.)  

I do still use nice perfume and I go to the Opera because those are things I truly enjoy.  The point is that my choices are no longer bound to my sense of worth or if the world values me or not, and I don’t have to prove anything to myself anymore.  I fought that battle already.  Oh, I have other battles to face, for sure, but life is a challenge.  It’s become more fun to give things than to get things at this point, so I have evolved.   

So next time you pass the luxury shoes, try them on if you get the urge, just to see how it feels.  Much like Cinderella, (or Cinderfella for the guys?) I’ll bet they fit just fine.  Hey, maybe test drive a dream car, Prince or Princess Charming.  You don’t have to choose those items, you don’t have to have that overpriced stuff.  The point is that you are worth it all just the same, and you can’t put a label on that!  

PS: God really loves you – exactly as you are.